Putting Back the Broken PiecesMy house help once accidentally broke a flower pot. Her regret was written in bold letters all across her face; and the guilt increased when I told her what it had cost. She quickly offered to replace it. When her sorry did not end, I soothed her with the words that the vase’s lifespan was over, it had to go and she should let the matter rest there. That is what we always say in my family when something breaks. Its time was up. Period! No blaming, screaming, shouting and pining over it!
These mishaps though not common are not very rare either in my house. Over the years from pigeons to our late pet to all members of the family plus a friend or two, we are responsible for having sent something to its resting place in the garbage bin. Crockery, jars, vases, wall plates, antiques...name it and we have said a requiem for it. Instead, we should have practiced the Japanese art of Kintsugi.
Kin = golden
Tsugi = joinery
Kintsugi comes from the Zen ideal of wabi-sabi, which acknowledges three simple truths —
nothing is permanent,
nothing is absolute and
nothing is perfect.
It is about appreciating and embracing the beauty of imperfections in nature. It means not to complicate our lives in a striving for what is not.
Kintsugi is the art of joining shards of wrecked ceramics with gold-flecked lacquer. But it is not just about putting together the broken pottery. There is a deeper rationale behind it. It is about rendering the chinks stronger, more attractive; it is to accentuate their philosophic merit – cracks are an integral part of life.
In an age obsessed with youth, perfection and disregard for the old, this art imparts special wisdom. It becomes a remedial metaphor for life. It enjoins us to make graceful allowance for the impermanence and imperfections of life and the world at large. It signifies that we should accept ourselves and others with loving kindness, warts and all – wounds, scars, vulnerabilities and limitations. Our self-worth eventually defines how we value others. The higher our self-esteem, we will have that much more empathetic regard for others.
When we become punching bags with our dreams shattered, when life throws unexpected hook balls at us and devastates our spirits we must glue the ruptures with the gold-flecked lacquer of inner strength, acknowledge our incompleteness with poise and repair splinters of the self with the same, if not more attentiveness, deference and tenderness we would extend to pieces of porcelain. It takes time to sort out the bits and put them back the right way but till then we must assemble the fragments and hold them together the best way we can; empower our brokenness and allow it to become the fulcrum of strength and resilience for an emergent new personality. The mended pieces of our individuality are reminders that life must be embraced in totality. Only when we accept and embrace the scars we make ourselves an integrated whole.
Focusing only on what is wrong we often miss the blips of what is bright, beautiful and heart-warming on our radars. That needs our attention and validation more than keeping only our negative attributes in the limelight of our lives.
Let us inspire and be inspired by wabi-sabi. It is up to us to direct our lenses more compassionately and choose to celebrate our own and others’ limitations. It will elevate our vibes a notch higher and united we can raise the frequency of affirmative, healthy energy to make a difference all around us.
Bio
To Shernaz Wadia (Pune, India), reading and writing poems is one of the means to embark on an inward journey. She hopes her words will bring peace, hope and light into dark corners.
Her poems have been published in many Indian and international e-journals and anthologies. She has published her own book of poems "Whispers of the Soul" and two volumes of "Tapestry Poetry - A Fusion of Two Minds". It is an innovative form of collaborative poetry writing that she developed and co-authored together with her poetry partner Avril Meallem from Israel.