Neenu Kumar
Family time is the hardest.
As are holidays.
Giggles everywhere, snivelling somewhere.
Joy, happiness, frustration, exhaustion,
Writ large over the faces of parents.
Yet, brimming with pride
That they have parented a child.
They look at me with disdain.
Childless as I remain.
‘Tsk, tsk, look at her.
She has no shame,
Considering a sterile the family has brought home.’
Their jabs cut me to pieces.
Family’s insulting also never ceases.
‘Help of medical science I would go for and produce a child.
As Gandhari was helped by Vyasa at her side.
I will mother a child.’
Opposition increased
As her chances of mothering a child decreased.
Jabs, laughter, derision.
Sighs, tears blurred her vision.
Everyone wanted to see her
A mother.
No one saw her as another.
Her identity as a person was destroyed.
Life was one big void.
Nothing could fill that emptiness.
People around her were merciless.
An unfulfilled life she lived.
An uncared for death she died.
Alas! The story of every woman,
Branded sterile and barren.
Her sorrow, her loneliness, her pain,
All were in vain
As childless she remained.
Gandhari: She was the wife of Dhritrashtra, a key character in the Indian epic, Mahabharata
Vyasa: He was a rishi)sage) and the first known author of Mahabharata
Dr. Neenu Kumar teaches English at Aditi Mahavidyalaya, University of Delhi. She is the recipient of numerous awards including; the Best Teacher Award (2014-2015) conferred by N. C. T. of Delhi, Certificate of Honour by Aditi Mahavidyalaya for College-Lecturer Award-2015 for outstanding academic achievements, the Ecologist and Environmental Health Educationist Award and Social Worker, and the Nutrition Educationist Award in 2017 and 2018 respectively. She has co-edited a book Prawasi Sahitya Prasang. She has presented at several international and national conferences. Kumar has published many articles in books and journals, and many poems in books. Her Instagram is: @drneenukumar
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