Lakshmi -mentor, guide and philosopher
Each day on my walking route I saw a woman who sat mostly alone by the side of a temple. Her complexion was wheatish and fine lines etched the planes of her face. If one looked at her she would look back and if one smiled at her then one could see the lights in her eyes. She was of slim built and wore a blue coloured sari mostly . The sandalwood paste on her forehead applied as a mark of her faith. Familiarity brought about an exchange of smiles and when I started greeting her with Namaste she would bless me warmly. Her warmth and smiling nature encouraged me to reach out towards her.
Recently I had bought a new camera and wanted to take a portrait of her. She politely refused but agreed to share her story if I had time to sit and listen. That was the next best option for me so I could carry the image of her in my mind. The tale she weft tore at my heart and yet lifted me to a point where I could understand that all we need is the courage and determination to live this life . It works no other way. So here is her story. Lakshmi Amma . Amma is a title addressed to mothers in the south of India.
Married away at fifteen by a father so there would be a free flow of liquor. He would be free to spend as he liked. She would fetch a good price. Her mother had no say except to shed tears as her daughter was being prepared for marraige . She was glad in a way that Lakshmi would be free from the clutches of an alcoholic father who beat the young girl each day without reason.( Amma told me that was her father’s way to keep her subdued and she took it all to save her mother violence her father usually subjected towards the females in the house. The sons had run away a few years ago. .As the women gathered for the mehendi ceremony and young Lakshmi’s hands were applied with beautiful designs using henna, songs were sung for her to receive blessings from the Gods for a good married life. All present were amazed by her incredible beauty. No one had noticed that the girl had grown into a beauty. No one except the father. He knew she would be his currency for a free flow of liquor. He had been on the look out for a wealthy man for a son in law.
Lakshmi left with many backward glances, sad but determined. She would make a new life , She would be a good wife. She would not be ‘her mother’. She would return to her education and complete her schooling.
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Life was a series of incidences after that.
Her getting beaten black and blue for wanting to go back to school. Her losing the only precious wealth; the golden chain her mother had gifted her as part of dowry. The rich husband made sure she did not have any money for escape.
Her getting pregnant after every six months and losing the baby. He wasn’t good to her and good for her. Her resolves changed. Her mother’s fatal suicide was a shock. The alcoholic quickly found another wife.
She would runaway to escape the pain and drudgery; her resolve to live a better life strengthened each time she bore cruelty and torture. Lakshmi had turned eighteen the day she reached Mumbai. She had escaped after stealing what was rightfully hers. By nineteen she became a single parent , working to keep a roof over her head and milk flowing through her breasts to nourish her baby . There wasn’t a choice . She was offered a space by an elderly couple who asked her to take care of them. It was a negotiable with a space and bathing amenity.
Her tirade continued however she tried to find a niche for self and her baby. Though her baby come from an act of aggression towards her she knew better. She was going to change all that negativity into steps towards prosperity and a better life. Such was her determination.
It was mostly to ward away men who thought she would be an easy prey and touts who kept offering her sums of money to sell her self in the flesh trade. They promised it would get easy for her.She hadn’t run away to find her self prisoned again so she adopted a mother. A mother who would help her raise her baby and create a good life.
Her new mother was a ‘Lakshmi’ too who had dealt a few blows in her life since she was widowed. The family had set conditions to keep her in. She too had escaped to unshackle herself only to find herself homeless and on the streets. Sometimes she was offered alms and sometimes she offered her services to clean streets and shops. Arthritis had begun to claim her knees and feet.
It was one of those moments when their gazes had met in a crowded street. The older women saw a version of herself though the young eyes blazed a fire. A fire only the strong can light and keep lit. Young Lakshmi smiled at her seeing in her mind’s eyes her mother. With little to offer other than a little puffed rice she took the older woman to the room she was boarding.Two kindred souls found a safety in each other’s company and the baby found another pair of arms to fall asleep and play in. They found a room close by on rent. Life began once again for both the women though with hiccups and a startling discovery that If one took the chances to get to a better place one can. Poverty wasn’t a reason for helplessness. It was definitely a reason to fight and get to a safer place.
The baby grew into a toddler and was handed over to the day care centres for the hours the two women worked. Life got better as the rupees rolled in.
Then life dealt another blow. They lost all their savings during the nights hours. A theft that made them aware of how vulnerable they were whilst they lived in the ghettos of the city. The time had come to move to a safer locality. They had to borrow for paying their rents and everyday groceries. The local mafia was known to be ruthless in collecting their dues. Young Lakshmi did not want them to fall into their clutches.
Sometimes I wonder why the striving attract the blows more. Yet again they resolved to learn better ways to keep their hard earned wealth and themselves safe. The older woman one day declared that she did not feel well to work the long hours, It was decided that she would take care of home and care for the child whilst young Lakshmi picked up a longer duration job that fetched them a better income. Once again things settled for the two women.
Whilst running the home the mother decided to start a part time job of applying henna for wedding ceremonies and social events. It had been a skill she had acquired during her teens. Before the mother and daughter knew it They had a small business going. It was hard and continuous work.
Life looked better and they lived better. Young Lakshmi found other women who, like her, had struggled to stand on their feet and started a small industry to proved meals and home services.
A few years later after they had registered themselves in the corporation and rented another room to start their own home based business. Older Lakshmi passed away quietly one night The baby was now a boy studying at a government school by the day and helping his mother after school hours. He had made his mind up to pursue his education seriously so that he could fulfill his dream of becoming an IT professional and support his mother. Lakshmi had never kept a secret from her son so he knew of her struggles . She had given him the address and location of his father but he never reached out towards the male parent. They progressed into a better housing locality . She continued with her small business and held fort.
The Non government organizations operating towards development for women from the low income segments awarded Lakshmi for her industrious and courageous personality hence raising her status in the community. Laksmi home foods came to be known as the place to order home cooked meals.
She, Laksmi Amma, today at the ripe age of seventy holds the hands of all who need the courage to take on the conflicts and move ahead. I consider myself fortunate to have met her and know her. Her image stays imprinted .
Bio
Alpana Issar presently is a home maker and care giver for her parents. One of her interests besides painting is writing the stories of the wonderful people she meets.